After I posted The Holidays Can Be Insufferable—a few of you reached out.
In it I mentioned that I’m low to no contact with certain parts of my biological family and a lot of you wanted something more practical: How do you actually go no contact? What does it mean? How do you hold it?
General interest in going “no contact” is surging right now, but most of what I see exploring it, is either overly simplified or overly moralized.
What I would’ve wanted when I was setting myself up for this process was a clearer guide. One that includes the parts people don’t warn you about. This video walks through what it can look like, why I chose it, and the lesser-known support systems you may need around it especially in the first year.
Timestamps below and I hope this offers some granular context on what I know can be a deeply difficult decision to make.
00:22 — What “No Contact” and “Low Contact” Actually Mean
00:45 — What I Wish I’d Heard Before I Did It
01:11 — The Core Reason I Went No Contact
01:27 — Internal Organization / Peace / Regulation
01:50 — “Enough Data”
02:17 — The Practical Things: Phone, Email, Social
02:44 — Other People Bargaining On Their Behalf
03:32 — The Part People Skip: Stimuli, Environments, Felt-Sense Memory
04:58 — Chosen Family: What To Ask For (And What To Put Off-Limits)
06:31 — Partners & Polar Opposites Around Family Contact
07:48 — Why Support Matters: Therapy, Groups, Spiritual Containers
08:36 — Titration: You Can Adjust Contact Over Time
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